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Search Results 0 to 18 of about 19 (some duplicates have been removed)
Comedy Central
Oct 26, 2012 7:30pm PDT
, mitt romney's closing arguments. >> the government of the united states is not a good venture capitalists, he likes to pick winners and losers, about $90 billion in green energy companies like solyndra and tess la a friend of mine says he doesn't mind picking winners and losers, he likes picking losers. >> half of them, the ones invested in have gone out of business. >> jon: holy crap! is that true, half? 63 energy companies got significant federal stimulus money and three and a half years later five have gone bankrupt. so that is half, 50%, that's amazing. that's-- what? oh, that's not the same number, hold on-- oh, it's actually 8%, man. i really have to get a zune. (laughter) and then sell it and get a calculator. wow, 8% bankruptcy rate, still, maybe that doesn't sound so bad. but compare that to mitt romney, top-notch bain capital venture capitalist. >> "the wall street journal" did some digging for today's paper it looked as 77 businesses bain invested in while romney led the firm. 22% of those companies either filed for bankruptcy or closed 8 years after the bain invest
Comedy Central
Oct 31, 2012 11:30pm PDT
is to make the federal government look necessary! (laughter) well, mitt romney understands that disaster relief belongs only on the state level. as he explained when asked about his plans for fema during a primary debate. >> every time you have an occasion to take something from the federal government and send it back to the states, that's the right direction. and if you go even further and send it back to the private sector, that's even better. >> stephen: right! we should make disaster relief the sole responsibility of the states. who better to respond to what's going on inside its own borders than the state whose infrastructure has just been swept out to sea? (cheers and applause) so please, please folks -- (cheers and applause) don't get me wrong, it's bad, but let's not freak out over hurricane sandy and think we need the feds! the response should simply be handled by whatever individual state is the entire eastern sea board. (laughter) and in a romney administration instead of depending on big government you'll be rescued by private-sector volunteers like paul ryan who will person
Comedy Central
Oct 29, 2012 11:30pm PDT
the harshest punishment in the history of cycling. >> cycling's international governing body stripped lance armstrong of his seven tour de france titles and banned him for life from the sport. >> stephen: so what are they going to do to the titles now, give them to the runners up? oh, i'm sure they weren't doping. they finished second behind a guy who rocketed up mountain sides with powdered monkey nut injected into his heart. (laughter) yeah, these guys are clean, no doubt. squeaky. (laughter) but, folks, losing his seven titles is not the worst news for lance. >> experts estimate lance armstrong might lose up to $200 million now that his big sponsors have dropped out-- nike radio shack, trek. >> stephen: that's $199,999,997 from nike and trek and a pair of a.a.a. batteries from radio shack. (laughter) now folks, this scandal has also affected lance's cancer charity livestrong known for their yellow bracelets. so lance is doing the right thing. >> lance armstrong is stepping down as chairman of his livestrong cancer-fighting charity. he says he wants to step down as a result to limit the d
Comedy Central
Oct 31, 2012 11:00pm PDT
gamesmanship from a situation performance improves dramatically. down the line government's been on top of its stuff, we'll start with n.y.c. mayor michael bloomberg. but, listen, i think we all agree if these cups were still legal -- (laughter). -- maybe the city would haven't flooded at all. (laughter) but that's not the point, that's not the point. the point is -- (cheers and applause) the point is mayor bloomberg kicked ass at his job and did in the two languages. (. >> (speaking broken spanish) (laughter). >> jon: all right. that may sound like what happens when you walk in on your rabbi practicinpracticing with w rose. (laughter) but when your city is flooding, that is as fluent as antonio (bleep)ing banderas. (laughter) by the way, bloomberg was talking three languages if you count the city's newest star lydia callis whose expressive sign language interpreting turned disaster press briefings into an alvin ailey sign language recital. (laughter). (cheers and applause) all across the region sandy wreaked havoc on trees, communities, and political talking points. >> there has been a series
Comedy Central
Oct 29, 2012 10:30am PDT
. who did this and how? should our government have seen it come something in did president obama try to hide the truth? is this a huge scandal that exposes a failed obama foreign policy? or is mitt romney just saying it is? >> stephen: why didn't our consulate have more security? why was the intelligence so slow to come out? and more importantly, if you put a statement in the form of a question, is it journalism? [ laughter ] [cheers and applause] so why did the administration imply these attacks were incited by a youtube video that insults the prophet mohammed? would anyone else like to chime in? >> why, why would he -- he and his administration -- speak repeatedly about that little video and with such authority and certainty? >> why would they come up with the video? >> are we really going to blame a video? [ laughter ] >> stephen: how could a video possibly incite violence? jimmy, why don't we watch it? ♪ >> stephen: why has my network forbidden me to show that video? did obama get to them? [ laughter ] or is there some other question i should be asking? [ laughter ] [cheers and
Search Results 0 to 18 of about 19 (some duplicates have been removed)